Parenthood 101

Cael's daycare printed this article in their November newsletter and I really liked it and wanted to share.

Parenthood 101: Some of the Lessons Worth Learning.
By: Mark Patinkin

• An almost empty basement is more fun than one too filled with toys.
• Girls begin practicing to be teenagers at age seven.
• To avoid a fight when bringing home balloons, always buy three of the same color.
• Never negotiate a long-term deal with a child.
• But if you try, and they promise that if you buy then a new pet they'll always, always feed it, remember that under age 12, the definition of "always" is one to three days.
• Why is it: Even if once a year you break your routine and read a bedtime story to your daughter first and, for a change, your middle son second, the son will accuse you of "always" letting her go first.
• When a restless boy needs something to settle him to sleep, pucks or baseballs work better than stuffed animals.
• The tougher the boy, the more likely he'll cry during sad parts in movies.
• The words "bedtime" and "bath" can cause severe impairment in a child's hearing. But before consulting an ear specialist, hearing can usually be restored by going to another room to discuss with your spouse a private subject that kids aren't allowed to listen in on.
• If you have more than one child, never get a car with room for a third person in the front.
• Never say "I might" if there is a chance you might not, because if you don't, you'll be told "You promised!!"
• No matter how cold it is, children will insist they don't need a jacket.
• No matter how dirty they are, they'll insist they don't need a bath.
• Few things are harder on the lower back than bending over at an ice rink to support children learning how to skate.
• Unless you include bending over even farther to hoist them back up after they fall.
• Though one thing is harder still: letting them learn to get up themselves.